This post continues my previous post in identifying the most common interventions that I use in session to help clients in marriage therapy or couples therapy with me. Once I typed up the remaining seven common interventions, I found that they were too long for one post, so I’ve made this a three part installment.…
Sometimes when I speak with a potential client they ask how couples therapy helps. This blog entry is designed to give you an idea of what I actually do during my sessions and how each intervention helps the couple get out of the negative pattern that brings them to my office. In this post I…
The bay area has concentrated some of the most talented, intelligent, and high-performing people in the world. Often when people call me for therapy they are in that high-performing group. They often hesitate in the initial consult because they believe in many of the myths about high-performing people and about therapy. About high-performing people they…
In this blog entry, I describe one of the core assumptions that informs my work with couples. Simply, the principle is that each member of the couple is 100% responsible for the problems in the relationship. But first, this entry requires a caveat. The applicability of this assumption is contingent upon a certain minimum level…
When I talk with potential clients in 15-20 minute phone consultations, they often want to know what to expect from me during therapy. This blog entry will answer that question in more detail than I get into over the phone and will focus on what to expect from me during couples therapy or marriage therapy.…
I want to dedicate this entry of my blog to my polyamorous friends and clients. Most of my clients are monogamous and I happily support them in protecting and affirming the viability of their monogamy and I have also had some poly clients and this entry intends to support and affirm them. In a recent…
Having worked with clients with out of control sexual behavior (OCSB), and having spent several years during my training working with clients with chemical addictions, I have found the term sexual addiction is at best a misnomer and at worst a mistake. Sex Addiction V. High Sex Drive One challenge with the term sex addiction is…
I have alluded to the fact that my sexual values as a person and as a therapist have changed over time. I thought that it might spark interest to have me identify which values I have cut over the years. This may be of value because it will show that I don’t hold these beliefs…
Sexual adaptability is formed on the principle that no aspect of life stays the same forever. Just as our exercise routines might change as we age, so too might our sexuality. It is also based on the principle that no matter what fantasies a person or couple might share, their lived sexuality takes place in…
Generativity is one of my favorite sexual values. It directly relates to my joy in helping clients with their sexual issues and it is the value that I see most easily left behind as people try to navigate their relationships and their sexuality. By generativity, I am referring to the way that expressing sexuality, in…