Why He Watches Porn Instead of Having Sex It is a common complaint, and not just in heterosexual couples. I hear one partner complain that he watches porn when the partner wants to have sex. It can be hard to understand, so I decided to write a post to help people make sense of this…
This blog entry returns to my How Sexuality Works series which uses the metaphor of a river to help explain sexuality and eroticism. For prior posts in the series click the links below or skip below to read about sexual compatibility. Sexuality Is a River What is Erotic and Why? Part I What is Erotic…
How Sexuality Works: Part III This is the third post of my Sexuality is a River series and my second post applying the analogy of a river to Morin’s theories of eroticism. You can find the first post in the series here: Sexuality Is a River. That post describes the perspective I write from and…
How Sexuality Works, Part II This is the second blog post in my series describing what I understand about the subjective experience of sexuality using the analogy of a river. You can find my first post in the series here: Sexuality Is a River. That post describes the perspective I write from and some caveats…
How Sexuality Works, Part 1: Sexuality is a River Once I’ve taught clients about their sexuality, they often say, “They should teach this in schools.” This is a phrase that I hear repeatedly as a therapist. Most often this phrase comes after I have explained a principle of relationships or sexuality. It is one of…
Bored in Bed? Place an Order With This Sex Menu This is a little tool that I created to help couples that are bored in bed. Follow these instructions so you can create your sex menu while you read along. Take regular sheet of paper, hold it with the long edge toward the bottom (landscape…
Treating Erectile Disorder Starting With Questions About Good Sex Many men experience erectile disorder (ED). In my practice, I often see men who want to become better lovers. These men often come to treatment because something has gotten in the way of the erectile strength they previously enjoyed. Whether it is because of erectile disorder,…
Sexual Health Principles My first posts for this blog were a series of articles about sexual values and how they might operate in therapy for sexual issues (see the first in the series here). At that time, I was early in the development of steering my practice toward a focus on sexual issues. I knew…
Sexual adaptability is formed on the principle that no aspect of life stays the same forever. Just as our exercise routines might change as we age, so too might our sexuality. It is also based on the principle that no matter what fantasies a person or couple might share, their lived sexuality takes place in…
Sexual Values: Sustainability In the last blog entry, I described the elements of consent as a sexual value. In this entry, I am describing the value of sustainability. However, I realized that I have not explicitly stated the importance I place on whether or not these values are sensitive to diversity. I believe strongly in…