Eight Ways to Avoid Holiday Arguments and Keep the Peace Every holiday all over social media I see snarky posts about the yearly tradition of arguing during the holidays. Maybe it is no surprise then that right after New Year’s Day couples therapist offices like mine are flooded with new clients seeking help for issues…
The most common presenting issue I hear is a need for “communication skills”. From my perspective, having done this work for a number of years, is that communication problems are often a result of attachment challenges. That is, the couple is caught in a dance that reflects their individual attachment styles. While there are three…
Frequently clients ask for help with their anger. I specialize in relationship and sexual issues so the context of this request frequently includes anger in a relationship. For that reason, I’ve decided to share a couple of my thoughts about different types of anger in relationships. Before I go into this discussion, I want to…
How to Get Over Resentments Resentments can poison a relationship slowly over time. For that reason it is very important to remove past resentments and to stop the process that is creating new ones. Maybe it will come as no surprise that dealing with resentments is a common problem that I help with in couples…
From “one true love” to “happily ever after” we are inundated with images and storylines about love that don’t quite fit our experiences. Those stories can sometimes create expectations which cause us to be confused or dissatisfied with the reality of our relationships even when the reality is positive. Self-help books, family advice, and people…
What Does “Good Boundaries” Mean Anyway? It is almost cliché to say that mature people have “good boundaries”. But what does that even mean? Some people with “poor” boundaries let others take advantage of them, while other “poor” boundaried people take advantage of others. Yet having “good” boundaries doesn’t just mean the opposite of those…