“My partner won’t come in but something has to change in our relationship. Will you work with me alone?”
“Yes, I will.”
“I’m not in a relationship right now but I have some relationship patterns I want to change. Will you help me ?”
“Yes, I will.”
I have a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology, am licensed in California (PSY23669), and I focus my practice on relationship and sexual issues. I currently have openings for new clients so contact me today.
We can talk about this in our first phone call. I can offer some common scripts that can encourage a reluctant partner to join couples therapy. Sometimes, however, a partner simply will not come in. I’m still willing to work with individuals in couples therapy, for one.
There’s a trick to this, though. If you want your relationship to improve, you’ll have to use the therapy to change yourself. I’m not a passive therapist. While a little venting can be really healthy, the question will always come back to, “Do you think you did anything to create these behaviors in your partner?” and “What are you going to do about it?” In this way, we stay focused on your communication skills, relationship needs, and your boundaries (and how to hold them). Sometimes, this is enough to make needed changes in a relationship. Other times, it motivates the previously reluctant partner to attend couples therapy.
Sometimes clients request couples therapy for one because they have a relationship pattern they want to change. Keep picking the same type of partner that doesn’t work for you? Keep engaging in the same problem behaviors that damage your relationship? We review your patterns, identify how they developed (it isn’t always about your parents), and identify new emotion regulation, communication styles, and partner-selection methods to help you break that pattern when you are ready to get into a relationship again.
Couples therapy for one is perfect if you have one foot out the door. It isn’t helpful for you to go to couples therapy if you don’t even know yet if you want to try. In a nonjudgmental way, we’ll examine your reasons for leaving, reasons for staying, and why, despite how they add up, you feel stuck to decide between them. I’ll then help you make a plan to change yourself, how you treat your partner, or your circumstances, so you’ll feel more confident about making a choice.
Whatever the reason, if you’re wondering about couples therapy for one, after 15 years in practice focused on relationship and sexual issues, I’ve probably worked with the issue before. You don’t have to figure it out alone, Contact Me